last friday, I had a this is not happening to me moment. a moment I never, ever in my whole entire life, wanted to have. a moment that came right in the midst of my seemingly perfect, everything is great, life.

we found out that my daddy has a mass in his upper chest which could potentially be cancer.

there were a million different what ifs and whys pounding through my head. how could this really be happening? to me? to my family? why us?
and you know what God asked me?

are you really going to trust Me?

see, when every little thing falls into place, it’s easy to feel like I’m the one in control. I have my own plans. I do what I want. but it’s not about me. it’s not about how I feel. it’s not about what I want. It’s about what HE wants. what He feels. what He purposes. it’s all Him.

it’s one thing to fully rely on God when life is easy, and a complete other thing to fully rely on God when life seems to be falling apart. God has shown me that He will give me peace that passes all understanding if I’ll let Him. He will hear and answer my prayers. He knows what is happening and what will happen. He is the one in control. Not me.

As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength. // Psalm 138:3

since friday, we have had some good news! dad’s blood test came back normal and the oncologist says that the mass does not appear to be cancerous. for now, we will continue to wait until we hear more news. God is good. we are trusting Him. and we are learning. learning to trust, learning to love, learning to hug a little longer, learning to be patient.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. // Romans 8:28