This morning I woke up, walked to the kitchen, and as I poured my hazelnut creamer into my fresh cup of coffee, I turned to my Mom and said, “I don’t think I’m ever going to book another wedding.”

I know, I know – cue the dramatics. But I was serious! Sometimes it can get so discouraging when you feel as though you should be doing so much better than you are. The root of that issue would be comparison because so and so is booking weddings right now and I’m not – or because so and so is going to shoot this many weddings this year and I only have this many. But what I really need to have is some perspective. I can’t compare myself to people who have been in business significantly longer or even someone who is in the exact same place as me! I can compare myself to ME. Am I growing? Am I hustling? How about I take comfort in the fact that I have 3 times more weddings booked this year than I did this time last year. That God is 100% PROVIDING! There’s always this incessant voice that says, “you still aren’t good enough,” “do you really think you are going to be successful?” “who is ever going to trust you to shoot their wedding?”. But the reality is that it’s a LIE. That voice will always be there regardless of where I am – because my success isn’t defined by numbers, or by likes, or by a following. My success lies within what the Lord says about what I am doing. Am I bringing him glory? Am I using this for selfish gain as opposed to declare his name? It’s not about me. It’s not about how many people I book, how many weddings I shoot, or how many followers I have on Instagram. It’s about whether or not I choose to glorify God in and through this because it’s all His. The reality is that there are people I look up to that have these days too. The discouraging, this is never going to go anywhere, I’m a complete and total failure days. And there are people that look at my business and go “man, I wish I was where she was.”

We have to change that perspective.

Every time I look to myself to do enough – I fail. I can’t work hard enough to make this dream a reality because it’s not mine. It’s His. And every time I say, “alright Lord, I trust you. You’re going to provide like you always do!” He just sends a little hug my way in the form of a wedding inquiry. (Funny how that happens…) It doesn’t matter if I book that wedding or not – my heart is what matters. Surrendering this “stuff” to Him and continuing to grow and push myself – not for my glory, but for His – that’s what matters. Hustle hard, friends! But don’t grow weary. Have some perspective, take heart, work hard & love your people well. It’s going to be okay.

Much love,
Jessica Lauren